To have and to hold….

 

I’m scared of ending up alone

The ones around me have locked in long time ago

I’ve set the bar so high it’s not working no more

I want to be traditional but that’s not going on 

I’m not young anymore

I’m not social enough 

I only talk to people from decades ago 

Men scare the hell out of me, so flirting is a no go

I’m so serious that it drives people away

I laugh at my own jokes, does that count as funny?

I have so much love bottled inside of me 

I’m scared when I do love, I’ll love bomb him away

I’m ready to have kids, I want one so bad 

I promise I’m normal, sometimes awkward

But nobody’s perfect, right?

I know it’s god’s will, but when is my turn?

Social media is what makes me cry to bed

People getting proposed to on the beach 

While the sun is setting, like a framed photograph 

“To have and to hold”, what a beautiful vow 

Just the meaning behind it gives me the chills 

“To have” is easy, although I can’t relate

But “to hold” is deep when you think about it 

It’s a lifetime commitment

Through the lovey-dovey phase, and the fallouts

Let me worry about the having first 

Because I’m gonna hold with my hands and feet

And maybe my teeth

All jokes aside, I’m content 

I’m at a place where younger me would kill for

I love life, and the ones inside that circle of mine

I’m a bada** strong independent women

Who can also be needy sometimes

Who also would love to have cuddles at night

But still a bada** if I didn’t mention before

I want a man

A lover to me

A father to my child 

And me, because I have that kind of issues

I don’t want just to get married 

I want to marry the right one.